This Love
by dancer199623
Summary: He was everything. He consumed her every waking moment. Always there in her mind and she did nothing to stop it. She loved it. She loved everything about it. She couldn't help herself and she didn't want to. After all, it was this love they write about in the fairy tales.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Twilight isn't mine. **

**Hello, Readers!**

**No, you are not hallucinating. This really is me, giving you a new story. Before I introduce my new story, I want to tell you all a little bit about what's been going on. **

**I started reading Fanfiction about four years, and I fell in love instantly. I loved Twilight and I loved the love that Bella and Edward had, so when I stumbled upon this site, I was in heaven. I have always loved reading so getting the opportunity to read stories about my favorite characters, I felt there was nothing better. I read all the time. All day and all night I would be locked up in my room reading story after story because I just could not get enough. Two years ago I thought, why don't I try writing for once? I loved to write and I had countless ideas brewing in my head all the time, so why not? I jumped in to soon and I've realized that now. I don't regret posting my first story because it's brought me to where I am now; a better writer. I wasn't ready for the criticism that comes with writing Fanfiction, and criticism still hurts but I've realized that you can't please everybody and in the end, it's my story. I'm writing it because I want to share it with all of you and hoping that you all love it as much as I do. I lost my love for Fanfiction. I quit reading entirely, deleted my stories and just forgot about all of this because I was overwhelmed. I needed a break and I was just..done. Taking this break has made me realize how much I love Fanfiction, reading and writing both. **

**With that being said, this story that I'm sharing is very personal. It's based off of my life right now. The emotions behind the story are real although the plot is not. I am transferring my life into a story that one day I hope will come true. This was a lot easier for me to write than any story **_**because**_** it's so personal. The words flowed out in a way they never have before. I hope you fall in love with this story as much as I have. I will try to update as often as possible. I have a very busy life right now. I am in my senior year of high school, I'm taking college classes, and I have three dance classes, so bear with me if the updates aren't as frequent as every week. **

**Please, enjoy!**

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BPOV

I sighed as I slumped down in the uncomfortable school desk. I hated coming to English class.

Why?

Because _he _was in this class.

And because _he_ was in this class, I could never concentrate. _He_ sat right in front of me, granting me a wonderful view of the back of his head. Which is nice by the way. Messy, tousled, gorgeous mop of hair that I would just love to caress and run my fingers through day in and day out.

I let out a sad sigh as I realized that dream would never happen. I would never get the chance to run my fingers through his perfectly messy hair, or touch _him_ anywhere, ever. _He _would arrive soon, and I would do the same thing I did every day.

Stare at the door until I saw him.

Look away only to look back a second later and watch him walk to his desk with his head down, books in tow.

I'd watch him slide gracefully into seat…..and then stare at the back of his perfect head.

Sure, I realized how weird this all was, but I couldn't help myself. I'd never, _never_, ever seen anyone like him. _He_ was the epitome of what I wanted in a guy. Tall, perfect, smart, perfect, kind, perfect, good looking, perfect, quiet, and well, perfect.

I rolled my eyes at myself. _You sound ridiculous, Bella._

I knew this, too. It didn't stop me from thinking all of this nonetheless. I'm sure there were things about him that weren't perfect, but to me, that made him even more perfect. The way his hair was never in place, the way _he_ would stumble over his big feet as _he_ walked into class, how _he_ would tap his leg while writing, or the way his large hands held a pencil, tapping it as _he_ thought. All these little things _he_ did were what drew me to him, were what made me want him more than I'd ever wanted anything.

And the saddest thing is that I've felt this way for over a year, and I've only spoken to him maybe, three times. I knew next to nothing about him, and yet, he was the only thing I thought about. _He_ was on my mind from the time I woke up to the time I fell asleep, _he_ was on my mind.

This wasn't healthy, I'm sure of hit, but I did nothing to stop it. Truthfully, I didn't _want_ to stop. Even though _he _wasn't mine, and probably never would be, _he _was still the best part of my day. Just seeing him once a day in English, it was like fix for me. I needed it. I _craved_ it.

I had been this way ever since _he_ moved here last fall. I walked into class and saw him sitting in the first seat and I about stumbled on my face. We didn't get new students here very often and when we did, I barely saw them. _He _was different, however. From the moment I saw him, I knew he was different.

I just didn't realize how different _he_ would be.

Sure, I'd had crushes over the years. At the time, I would have sworn it was love. Now, of course, I know differently. What I felt for those other boys was like a heroin addict smoking a cigarette. Unfulfilling and nothing to remember. Seeing them now I don't know what I was ever thinking liking them. They were nothing like him. And never would compare in my eyes.

I sighed and was broken out of my thoughts as I saw him walk in.

My breath caught as I watched him stumble in the door way. _He_ looked particularly divine today. Messy hair, jeans, and his usually black _North Face_ zip up sweater. His eyes met mine for a fraction of a second and embarrassingly, I felt heat creep up into my face and soon a full blown blush was there. I looked down and swallowed.

_How did he do that with just one look?_

I bit my lip, suddenly holding back tears.

He'd never want me. Why would he? I was nobody. Nobody important.

I was just ugly, overweight, Bella Swan.

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**A/N: Soo? What did you think? Did you like it?**

**I put **_**he **_**in italics for a reason….let's see if any of you can guess why I did that. The first person to answer correctly will be my "reviewer" of the week. **

**I know you are all anxious to hit that button, so go ahead….**

**REVIEW!**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: I don't own Twilight. **

**Yay! Chapter 2! I hope you like this chapter as much as I do. It's not too exciting but it gives a little more insight into Bella's life and how she feels about **_**him**_**. **

**One person guessed correctly about why Bella always refers to Edward as **_**him. **_** is the reviewer of the week! **

**Enjoy this chapter!**

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**BPOV**

My thoughts were jumbled as I stared at him. I honestly could not make a coherent thought because all I saw was him. I was like this everyday. I couldn't get a hold of myself until he was out of sight, and even then I was still thinking about him. Thinking about everything I hoped we could be but knowing it would never happen. Because I wasn't good enough and I never would be.

I was fat and ugly; everything he'd never want.

I swallowed and looked down, determined to finally focus in on class.

It didn't work, of course, and ten minutes later I found myself once again looking at him. I bit my lip as I looked at his back. Even through his jacket I could tell it was muscular and I fantasized about running my nails down over it and then bringing my hands up to tangle in his hair as he kissed me.

The bell jumped me out of my daydream and I was breathing heavily as I watched him hop up out of his seat and walk out the door. I blew out a breath and gathered my things before heading to the cafeteria for lunch.

As usual, people barely noticed me in the halls; I was used to it now, even though sometimes it upset me that I'd known most of these people for ten years and they barely acknowledged me now. I only really had one friend, but I was okay with that because she was the best friend a girl could ask for. She knew all about how much I wanted _him_ and she never judged me for being shy. She thought my reasons for not talking to him were stupid, but nevertheless, she didn't judge me.

I got my food quickly and headed over to our table. Angela was already there and she smiled when she saw me.

"Hey, girl," she said.

I smiled slightly. "Hey."

She raised an eyebrow at me. "Uh oh. What happened? Was _he_ not here today?"

She knew better than to say his name.

"No, _he_ was. I just, I don't really know why I'm feeling down," I lied. I knew exactly why I wasn't feeling very chipper but I wasn't really in the mood for another one of her lectures.

"Bella, I've known you for ten years. I know you better than yourself, so stop lying and tell me what's wrong," she demanded.

I looked away just in time to see _him _walk in with his friends and family. He was the quieter of the group, always hanging out in the back of the pack, looking down at the ground.

"Bella," she pushed.

"Just the usual, Ang. I like him, he doesn't like me. End of story," I said, a little more harsh than I had intended.

She wasn't deterred. "How do you know he doesn't like you?"

I glared at her. "I'm f-"

"Don't even finish that sentence," she scowled. "You are not fat, Bella Swan. You are a beautiful girl and he would be lucky to have you. I wish you'd see that."

I rolled my eyes at her. "You have to say that, you're my best friend."

She cracked a grin. "True, but my opinion would be the same even if I wasn't your best friend."

"Thanks, Ang, but you know my feelings haven't changed," I said.

She sighed and stood up as the bell rang. "I know. I only hope one day they will."

"Don't hold your breath," I muttered, throwing my food away.

The rest of the day passed with little excitement and I soon found myself driving home. I had thought about all that Angie had said to me, but I just couldn't see what she saw in me. I was nothing special, nothing good either. Angie on the other hand, was gorgeous; tall, skinny, perfect skin and hair.

I was none of that and never would be.

I sighed again as I pulled up to my house. I saw dad's cruiser in the driveway so I knew he was home from work.

"Hey, Dad," I said as I walked in the door.

"Oh, hey, Bells. How was school?" he asked from the living room.

"It was fine," I replied as I sat on the couch next to him.

"That's good," he said, focusing on the game on the TV.

We were quiet after that, as usual. We were both quiet people and didn't mind sitting in silence. In fact, we both preferred it. I watched a little bit of the game with Charlie before getting up to start dinner.

I wasn't in the mood for cooking so I opted for an easy dish: lasagna. I had it made and in the oven in under 20 minutes and decided to work on some homework. I got most of my work done while waiting for dinner to be done and when the timer went off I was happy that all I had left was a little reading for English.

"Dad! Dinner's ready!" I called.

"Ok," he muttered as I heard the recliner shut as he stood up.

I dished out our food and we ate at our small, two person table. I cleaned up our mess and went up to my room shortly after. I spent the rest of my night reading before showering and heading to bed.

I dreamt of a life full of love I knew I'd never have.

*TL*

I yawned and rolled over to shut my alarm off before getting up to get ready. I decided to dress up a little today. I knew I wouldn't look very pretty, but I thought maybe I'd feel a little better than I did the day before.

I curled my hair and put on minimal make up. I wasn't a huge fan of makeup and that was probably because I had no idea how to put it on correctly. A little eyeshadow and mascara was enough for me.

Dad was already gone by the time I made my way downstairs so I grabbed a box of captain crunch for breakfast and ate fast.

I grabbed my bag and drove to school in a daze. Being that Forks was such a small town, I made it to school within five minutes and was soon parked and on my way into class.

On my way to English class, where _he _would be.

I sat down in my seat and got my stuff out, trying to keep myself preoccupied so I wouldn't watch the door for _him_.

It didn't work however, and once again I found myself anxiously watching the doorway, my leg tapping and thumbs fiddling.

_He_ stumbled in the door and met my eyes just like yesterday. I swallowed and looked down, blushing once again. He sat down just as the bell rang and Mr. Varner started talking.

"Okay, class, settle down, settle down, everyone," he urged.

The talking slowly dissipated and he continued. "We are going to do a little project. A _group_ project."

He paused while everyone, including me, groaned at the thought of a group project.

"Now, now. It won't be that bad. I already have everyone partnered up and don't even bother complaining, no changes," he said.

I groaned again. I could only imagine who I'd be partnered up with.

"Okay, let's get started. Jessica and Mike, Laura and Victoria, Eric and Ben," he continued on and I tuned him out, only listening for my name.

When he got to the last people my heart sped up.

There's no way. This could not be happening. I could not be partners with _him_.

I held my breath as Mr. Varner finished up the pairings.

"Josh and Sarah. Oh, and last but not least, Edward and Bella.

I froze.

I was partners with _Edward_.

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**A/N: So? What did you think? Did you like it?**

**What do you think about Bella's feelings of herself and of **_**him**_**? **

**Let me know when you review!**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: I don't own Twilight. **

**Here's the next chapter. I'm not too happy with it. The words didn't flow as smooth as I wanted them to. I didn't want to try and rewrite it because you wouldn't have gotten for at least a week if I did that, so, I hope you like it.**

**Enjoy!**

**BPOV**

* * *

My heart sped up to an unhealthy pace and I was sure I would soon break out in a sweat. I couldn't be partners with _him_. For God's sake, I wasn't even able to _think_ his name, how would I talk to him? I briefly thought about objecting and asking for a different partner, but that was too much attention that I really didn't want on myself. I took a few deep breaths and tried to focus on what Mr. Varner was saying.

"You're assignment is to research an era of time and compare it to today. I want all your notes, outlines, rough draft, and then your final paper. You will only submit one paper so make sure you mark who did what work and who wrote what in the essay. Since this is a big assignment it won't be due until the end of the semester, but that doesn't mean you can slack off. Keep up with all your work," He lectured.

I swallowed at this. This sounded like a lot of work, which meant a lot of time spent with _him_.

"Go ahead and get together with your partners. Edward, you can just go sit in the seat next to Bella," he ordered.

I took in shaky breaths as I watched _him _gather up his things and stand up from his seat. I looked down at my seat as he pulled the chair out and sat down. It was quiet for a second before he spoke.

"Hi."

I sucked in a breath at the sound of his voice. It wasn't the first time I've heard it, but it was the first time it had been directed towards me.

I let out a shallow breath and looked up into his emerald green eyes. "Hi."

I'd never had the chance to see his face in this close of proximity, and I had to admit, it was better than I would have thought.

His eyes were a beautiful bright green, his lips a delicious soft pink, and his face was scruffy, like he hadn't shaved in a day or two. His skin was flawless, not a mark on it except a small scar above his right eye. His hair was out of place as usual and I loved it. I quickly realized what a freak _he_ must of thought I was and looked away, blushing.

He cleared his throat. "So, uh, this project, huh? Seems like a lot of work."

I nodded. "Yeah."

He frowned a little and looked away. I bit my lip as I watched him swallow, his throat constricting.

He looked back at me. "What should we do?"

"Um, I don't know. Whatever you want," I said hastily.

How is it possible that _he_ made me this nervous? I felt the sweat come back and tried to calm down but it was no use. _He _drove me crazy and as much as I hated to admit it, I loved every second of it.

"Uh, okay. What about the 1920s?" he said hesitantly.

I nodded quickly. "Sure, whatever you want."

_He_ looked at me as if _he _was searching for something, his eyes flicking back and forth between my own. Finally he spoke.

"I want you to like our topic too, Bella," he said softly.

I gasped quietly at the sound of my name rolling off his tongue. I had dreamt many times of how it would sound but my dreams weren't even close to the reality.

"I do," I whispered, looking into his eyes.

He looked back at me for a minute before smiling softly and looking away. "Good."

I looked away, too. I was feeling so overwhelmed and I didn't know how I would last through the semester. I didn't even know how I'd make it through this class period. He smelt unhumanly good and I could feel the heat from his body and I just wanted to reach out and-

"Bella?"

I blinked and looked over. "I'm sorry."

He smiled. "Don't be. Are you alright?"

"Yeah, I'm okay," I mumbled.

He nodded. "Okay, let's get started."

I'd like to say I enjoyed listening to him talk for the next hour, but really it was just torture. His voice was so smooth and he was so intelligent, it only made me want him more. Which upset me because he'd never be mine. So it's safe to say that I was partially relieved when the bell rang.

I quickly gathered my things up trying not to watch _him_ do the same but failed miserably. I was zipping up my book bag when he spoke.

"So, I'll see you tomorrow?" he asked.

I nodded and spoke quietly. "Yeah."

He smiled, shyly? "Great. See ya then."

I watched his retreating form in confusion. What would he have to be shy about?

I was still shaking my head as I entered the cafeteria and sat down next to Ang.

"That's a look I haven't seen on you before," she began.

"What?" I asked.

"Your look. You seem confused. Something happen?" she questioned.

"Uh, you could say that," I answered.

"Oh?" she said.

"So, Mr. Varner decided we needed to do a group project," I started.

"And….." she pushed.

"_He_'s my partner," I rushed out.

She was silent for a minute before it clicked. "No!"

I nodded. "Yep."

"Well, that's a good thing, isn't it?" she said.

My eyes snapped to hers. "How is it a good thing?"

It was her turn to look confused now. "Because now you have an excuse to talk to him."

"That's the problem, Ang. I can't talk to him. I could barely say 'yes or no' to him today, let alone have an actual conversation with him," I said, feeling even more shitty than I did twenty minutes ago.

"Bella," she said softly, "Just try. I know it's hard for you but that's okay. You guys are partners, you have to communicate with one another. I'm not saying tell him all your deepest desires, but you can talk to him."

I bit my lip. "I'll try, I guess. I don't know how well it will work, he makes me nervous."

"And that's okay. Did you ever think you make him nervous?" she said.

I snorted. "Yeah right. How could _I_ possibly make _him_ nervous?"

She gave me a reproachful look. "Because you're a very beautiful and smart girl. That alone makes guys nervous."

"I am not beautiful," I objected.

"Yes you are. Very much so," she pushed.

I rolled my eyes and decided not to bother arguing with her. She had to say that, she was my best friend. I knew I wasn't beautiful and I would never claim to be. I was short, fat, and plain; the farthest thing from beautiful. We finished lunch and soon the bell was ringing.

"Bella," she called.

I turned around. "Yeah."

She smiled. "You're my best friend and I love you. So, listen to me when I tell you this. You _are_ beautiful, and _Edward_ would have to be blind not to see that."

My eyes widened. She hadn't said his name since the first time I told her about him.

"Thanks," I whispered as I turned around and left.

The rest of the day passed much the same as the day before. I drove home, did some homework while dinner cooked, and soon I was lying in bed. I thought about all that Angie had said to me, but I just couldn't comprehend her feelings. I _was_ fat and I was _not_ beautiful. I knew that.

As much as I wished that she were right and there was a chance that _he_ could feel the same about me, I didn't allow myself to dream of that.

It would only lead to even more heartbreak for me.

With that settled, I relaxed into my bed and fell asleep.

Waking up in the morning, I found that I was even more jittery than normal and I blamed it all on this stupid group project. I was barely able to eat breakfast without wanting to run to the toilet and be reacquainted with my cereal.

I finally made my way to school and I felt my heart race as I walked to class and sat down. I waited impatiently while watching the clock tick closer to the bell. My leg started tapping anxiously against the chair legs while I watched the door anxiously for his tall figure to stumble through the door.

Except he never showed.

* * *

**A/N: Uh oh? Where's Edward? **

**They finally meet! Was it what you expected? Was Edward? Yes? No? Maybe?**

**Let me know when you review! I see a lot of you are reading this but I only get a few reviews. Review so I know what you think. Tell me what you like and what you don't like. Tell me what you want to see happen, I'm always open to suggestions. **

**REVIEW!**


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight. **

**A/N: Hello, everyone! This is the fourth chapter and I am actually pretty happy with it. The ending is my favorite, and I think it will be all of yours favorite, too. I love that you guys are so protective of our Bella!**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

Devastation.

It's a weird feeling. Unexplainable, yet still heartbreaking.

I didn't understand why I felt this way, I mean, it's not like-

Whatever.

I focused in on Mr. Varner then, listening to all the ins and outs of the project. Ten minutes in, I got really angry. The workload for the project was huge and _he_ wasn't even here for the first day! Did he plan this? Did he think he could just not show up and expect me to do all the work?

If that was the case, he would be getting a rude awakening when he decided to come back. I would not be walked all over, even if it was by him. Realizing that there was nothing I could do at the moment, I tried my best to focus on _our_ work and get as much done as I could.

By the end of the class period, I didn't know whether to be worried or pissed off because he wasn't here. After reminding myself of all the work I just did, I chose to be pissed.

"Hey there, sunshine," Angela said as hesitantly when I slammed my lunch tray down.

"Hi," I muttered, picking at my food.

"What happened?" she asked.

"_He_'s gone today," I said.

She looked confused. "Okay? Um, I don't want to upset you, but why does that matter?"

I took a deep breath, trying not to get upset with her. She didn't do anything.

"It matters because we started our project yesterday and I was left with all the work today," I explained. "And it was a lot of work."

"Okay, I understand. But do you really think he just skipped today?" she questioned.

I left out a breath. "I don't know. I just think it's funny how he never misses school and then the day after we start a big project, he's gone. Leaving me with all the work."

"I'm sure there's a good explanation, Bella," she said softly.

I rolled my eyes, not wanting to listen anymore. I was mostly silent throughout the rest of lunch and I was thankful when the bell rang. I passed the rest of my day in this worried/pissed off state of mind and I was lucky that Charlie wasn't the "talking" kind of person, because I really didn't want to talk.

I went to bed early that night, sleeping restlessly.

I was nervous when I woke up the next morning and could barely eat my breakfast before I rushed out the door and headed to school.

Much like yesterday, I sat anxiously in my desk, tapping my pencil against my book as I watched the door deliberately.

And also much like yesterday, _he_ never showed.

My anger spiked when I heard the bell ring and he wasn't here. I mean, was I that repulsing that he couldn't sit next to me? Was I that horrible?

I shook my head and got to work.

When I entered the cafeteria, Ang saw that I was upset and she, probably wisely, said nothing to me and we ate in silence. I finished out my day like yesterday and when I fell asleep that night, I realized I had never felt so bad about myself than I did in that moment.

When I got to English Thursday morning, I didn't even bother looking at the door. Somehow I just knew he wouldn't be there.

Sadly, I was right, and when the bell rang, I got right to work, pushing all thoughts of him out of my mind.

*TL*

I slumped down in my desk and pulled out my papers and got right to work. The 1920s were extremely interesting, more than I would have ever expected. I loved reading about the flappers and how women were fighting for the rights they should've-

My thoughts were interrupted by the sound of the chair next to me sliding out and someone sitting down in it.

_Him_.

My body tensed and I held my breath.

"Hi," _he_ said nervously.

The sound of his voice brought on so many emotions and I swallowed them down, not wanting to face them. All the anger I had felt this week melted away and I was left with just one emotion.

Heartbreak.

Heartbreak because I wanted him so much. Heartbreak because one word from him can bring out so many feelings in me. Heartbreak because I wanted to be angry at him. I should be angry at him, he left me alone this whole week to do all of this work by myself.

And heartbreak because I realized in that moment that I could never truly be mad at him.

"Bella?" he whispered.

I closed my eyes as I felt tears build up and turned to look at him.

His face fell and took on a look of pain. "Bella."

I swallowed and narrowed my eyes at him. "Where were you?"

He swallowed, looking guilty. "I was sick."

I scoffed. "That's the best you can do?"

He leaned in closer to me and sadness fell over his face as I moved away from him.

"Bella, please," he pleaded. "Just listen to me."

I fought back more tears at the sound of his pleading voice. _Don't break down, Bella. _

I looked away. "We have work to do," I whispered.

"Bella," he started but I interrupted him.

"Here's what I've been doing the past three days," I said with an emphasis on the word 'three' as I handed him all my notes.

He looked guilty as he took the papers. I waited nervously as he looked over them, hoping he would approve.

"Bella, these are great," he smiled.

"I know," I muttered as I took them back. All of my anger suddenly surged back through me when I saw how many notes I had actually taken. I've worked so hard over the past three days and he's done nothing. He was probably banging some cheap girl while I slaved over our project.

I rolled my eyes at the rush of sadness that came over me at the thought of him with another girl.

_Like he'd ever want you. _

We spent the rest of class time working on our project, him trying to give me more excuses, and me doing my best to ignore him.

I had never been more relieved to hear the bell ring than I was today. I threw my papers together and hopped out of my seat.

"Bella," he said.

I ignored him and headed for the doors. I heard him behind me but paid him no mind as I headed for the cafeteria.

"Bella!" he called, grabbing my shoulder to stop me.

I stopped and turned around not looking at him.

"What do you want?" I whispered.

"I want to talk to you. To explain all of this to you," he said desperately.

"You don't need to explain anything to me," I argued.

He sighed. "Yes, I do."

I looked up then. "Well, I don't want to hear it, okay?"

"Bella-"

"Just don't, alright?" I whispered, finally looking at him.

Trying to ignore the look of complete devastation in his eyes, I turned around and walked away.

* * *

**A/N: What do you think? Was Bella being too hard on Edward? Or are her feelings and actions justified? **

**Let me know when you review, and please do review. I love hearing what you are all thinking, even if it's just a simple 'I liked it'. **

**REVIEW!**

**P.S. Review and tell me where you all are reading from. I want to know where my readers are. **


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: I don't own Twilight.**

**Hello, everyone! I'm so sorry this has taken so long. I've been so busy that past two weeks, I haven't had any time to write. Most of you thought that Bella over reacted and while I do partially agree, I want you all to remember that Bella is extremely insecure about herself. Edward is a very good looking, popular boy. That would make any shy girl feel insecure. The way Bella feels about herself only makes it worse. **

**I hope you like this chapter. I think you will ;)**

**BPOV **

* * *

After turning away from Edward I decided to do something I'd never done before: skip school. I couldn't go to lunch right now. Angela would ask too many questions and I really don't think I could handle seeing Edward again today. I soon realized I was too scared to actually skip school so I went to the nurse in hopes that I could fake being sick for two minutes.

"Hello there, Bella. What can I do for you?" The nurse asked.

I coughed and hunched over, shivering slightly. "I don't feel so good."

"Oh, dear. You don't look very good. You're very pale. Come on in," she worried.

I almost chuckled at that comment. I was always pale. I slowly walked over to the chair and sat down. She tooked my temperature and waited for the beep.

"Well, you don't have a temp but I think you should go home anyway, you do look ill," she said.

I nodded. "Yeah, I think that'd be best."

She smiled and signed me out and I headed out the door.

I stopped when I saw Edward standing at his locker. His eyes met mine and when he saw the slip in my hand, his eyes turned sad. I hurriedly looked away and walked toward the exit. I hopped in my truck and headed home.

When I got home I realized how tired I was so I went upstairs and took a nap.

*TL*

A knock on my door woke me up. I rolled over and said, "Come in."

Dad entered the room, looking concerned. "Bella, are you okay?"

I coughed and sat up. "Uh, yeah."

He didn't look convinced. "Is that so? Then why did I find this on the table?"

My sign out slip.

I groaned internally. I wasn't planning on telling him I left school early.

"I just wasn't feeling well earlier, so I went to the nurse and she sent me home, but I'm fine now," I explained.

"Are you sure you're okay? You never leave school," he pushed.

I nodded. "Yes, I'm sure I'm okay."

"Alright then, are you coming down for dinner?" he asked.

"Dinner, what time is it?" I asked.

"Almost 5:30," he answered.

My eyes popped out. 5:30? I must've really been tired.

"Yeah, I'm coming down," I said.

He nodded and left me alone.

I fell back on my bed. So much had happened today, I wasn't sure what to think. Right now I was feeling a little foolish for the way that I had acted towards Edward. But at the same time, he had left me alone for three days without any kind of warning.

I really was confused.

I sighed and decided to think about all of this later, so I went downstairs. Dad had gotten pizza so I grabbed a plate before grabbing a slice. As usual, there wasn't much talking between us. I ate one and a half slices of pizza before I was full and went upstairs to take a bath.

I loved baths and them at the same time. I loved them because I loved soaking in the hot water. I hated them because I hated my body. I was disgusting, truthfully. I hated everything about myself. I was seventeen years old and I had fat rolls for God's sake. I was gross and I knew it. I couldn't help the few hot tears that rolled down my cheeks as I lay in the tub.

*TL*

Waking up Monday morning, the last thing I wanted to do was go to school. Two days away from Edward wasn't enough. I had spent my weekend sulking about going to school today. I didn't even bother asking Charlie to let me stay home. I had stayed home for two days and that would be his reply, too.

So, I forced myself out of bed and got ready for school. I felt particularly ugly today, so I tried even less than usual when dressing myself. I barely ate breakfast before walking out the door and heading to school.

When I sat down today, I found that although I was nervous, it wasn't because I wanted to see Edward. It was the exact opposite actually. I was embarrassed about the way I had acted on Friday and I was sure he thought I was stupid.

My eyes naturally gravitated towards the door just as he walked in and to my surprise he looked relieved to see that I was here.

"You're here," he said breathlessly.

I looked at him quickly before looking away. "I'm here. Why wouldn't I be?"

"Well, I just thought, you know, after Friday, you'd be mad at me still," he said, nervously.

I swallowed hard at the sadness in his voice.

"Well, I'm here," was all I said.

"Yeah. Um, here. This is what I did last night. I hope it makes up for, well, you know," he stuttered.

I looked at his pink cheeks as he slid a bunch of papers over to me. I almost choked at the amount of work he had done.

"You did all this last night?" I asked shock.

He smiled slightly as he looked in my eyes. "Yeah. Bella, I really feel bad about leaving you alone for three days."

I looked at his face closely. He looked particularly good today, and he appeared to be telling the truth.

"It's okay," I muttered, looking down.

I felt his breath on my cheek as he leaned in close to me. "No, Bella, it's not. It's not fair that you had to do all of that by yourself."

"But you did all of that by yourself," I argued childishly.

He chuckled at my immaturity. "Yes, that's true. But I still feel bad."

"Well then I feel bad, too," I defended.

"Bella, you're absolutely ridiculous," he laughed while smiling at me.

I smiled at him, feeling my cheeks heat up.

His smile turned soft. "I like when you smile."

I swallowed and looked down. He couldn't mean that.

"Bella-" he started.

"We should get started," I interrupted, not wanting to hear his excuses.

I heard him sigh but he didn't argue with me. We worked straight up until the bell and I felt a little sad when I realized my time with Edward was up.

"Bella," Edward said.

I turned and looked up at him. "Yeah?"

He suddenly looked nervous. "Um, I still feel bad about last week-"

I stopped him. "I already told you it's okay, Edward."

He nodded. "I know you said that, but I still want to explain everything to you. Please."

"Okay, explain," I said.

He shook his head. "I didn't mean here."

My face turned confused. "Then where do you mean?"

He visibly swallowed. "I mean like, tonight, over dinner or something?"

My body tensed up. Was this some kind of joke? Is he going to laugh about this with his friends at lunch?

Foolishly, I felt traitorous tears fill my eyes, as I grabbed my bookbag and left the room.

"Bella!" Edward called.

I tensed when I felt his hand on my shoulder.

I whirled around. "What?"

He looked stunned. "What happened? What did I say?"

"You! That's what happened. Is this some kind of joke? Are you going to laugh about this later with your friends?" I shot back.

His eyes widened. "Bella, you can't be serious."

I sniffled. "Do I look like I'm joking?"

His face softened. "Bella. I wasn't joking, I meant what I said. I want to talk to you and I'd rather do it in privacy."

I studied his face. He looked serious, but I couldn't be sure. Why would anyone like Edward want to go to dinner with me? I had no idea, but I didn't want to throw away my only chance.

"Okay," I whispered.

His eyes lit up. "Really?"

I nodded.

"Can I have your number? To call you after school?" he asked hopefully.

I nodded once again and gave it to him.

"Thank you, Bella. I promise I won't let you down," he smiled before turning around.

I got nervous as soon as he was gone. What if this really was a joke? What if I got hurt at the end of all of this?

I groaned as I realized I might have just made a huge mistake.

* * *

**A/N: So, what do you think? **

**Do you think Edward's being serious, or do you think he's playing with Bella?**

**Leave me your thoughts when you review. Reviews have been a little short so please review. They really do mean a lot to me. **

**REVIEW!**


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